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What have we become?

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 4, 2013, 5:58 AM
This world, the internet, this website, Makes me feel a bit sick.
The internet opened my eyes to a world outside my house, outside hardship, bully and abuse. Thus it where good, but it is heading down a faceless path where bully is seen as good clean fun or trolling. Where people get rewarded for copying while I got humiliated and laughed at in art school, my technique or the fact that I drew it with a blue ink pen impressed nobody.  I left art school and went to another school, stopped drawing for a while.
Created things I felt where original. As many of my friends, and close friend does. I write short stories or books.
(Queen-Soulia as her a talented writer that is ashamed to show her work, due to the cruelty of the internet.)

People punish original ideas and creativity creations with either mocking or blame of idea theft.
You dare to create a elf with glowing markings, but oh no,you must have copied that from some current game. Because Blizzard made fantasy according to some.

You add it online, you must be read to become attacked or given critique. Do we not have a choice to say: "No thank you" ?

We reward wrongful behavior, children, teens and adults wish to die and reach out in hope a voice in the light can pull them up. Only to be met with a cold cynical internet that rolls around in joy when people suffer. Words such as "Do it." , "Attention whore" will be thrown.

You cannot go anywhere without being reminded of past mistakes, the internet never forgets. Neither does it exist the human ability to forget and move on. Only a Obsessive behavior to crush that unknown face you now speak to. Crush her or him, destroy that person, make it wish it never where born.
This is not right, we do not wake up everyday so we can cause suffering to others. How shall we as humans overcome cruelty if we allow it to happen or indulgent our self in it?

Remember how they always said wounds heal, but wounds by words will never  It is just the internet they say, turn off the screen and move on. Words that drill into your mind as you buy milk. "Whore", "Useless" , "Kill yourself" ,"You are a loser, nobody cares if you would vanish."
Such generation is being created, with cynical, emotionless, faceless-bullies who thrive in others misery.

Religion, politics, culture or simple the fact that you perhaps do not enjoy that newest movie gives nobody the rights to use your soul as some can you can step on and laugh that it becomes crushed.

Growing a spine, making a stand? Being strong enough to stand against a faceless mob that will destroy you unless you flee , stand strong, or simply surrender.

The boy or girl which English is their second or third language. Buy a dictionary they say, mock them you tend to do. It is not right!

A girls sketch of a red haired character, she thinks about it everyday and love this character. As if it where real. Mocked by those that call it pathetic.
The not skinny girl or boy, mocked because they canīt fit into a size 0 jeans.  That is how messed up the world is, all girls are Photoshopped, not everybody can become thin as you demand. Leave them be, admire them for how they look, not how they could look.

Or how about the person who simply does not like the same things as you. Do not mock or act as a fool against thee

Next time you speak to a person, even for a short comment, imagine that you are talking to a human. Phrase it as if you spoke to them, even if it is not correct grammatically . When I write hug or smile, I imagine doing so for real. Insane perhaps. But it keeps me human, it reminds me to be human.

A good human, on my own. Not with faith, not with force. Just be good because it is needed in the world

And smile. Even when it hurts. Maybe somebody can read your eyes. And hug.

As a person once said "We are only humans" , but I say "Thus can we act better, if we try."

Thank you.

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:icondoom-san:
Doom-san Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
This is a beautiful journal. I am glad for knowing that I'm not the only one who sees everyone as people, and treats interactions with everyone as such.

It's true, people do say "Just ignore it", but.. Yeah. It can hurt. Staying true to ourselves is all we can do, and on some level it is kind of right to say "just ignore it", since it seems the only way to really repel "trolling" is to not feed their fire. But it still hurts.

Many of us are here because we're reaching out, and on some level seek that little push of encouragement to let us be who we want to be because we have none in our lives to give that encouragement in person. Even if we keep pushing to share ourselves in spite of the criticism, there's still a difference in emotion and confidence between trying and being met with encouragement, and trying and being told we are terrible. It can also be harder and harder to ignore when it feels like the only real voice you hear is attacks too. Even if ignored, many of them become little digs at our psyche. Wounds that sit and fester, making us a little more negative each time, and in time even if we still keep doing what we do, we start lose the desire to want to share it.

I don't know how it is for others, but from a perspective of reaching out to make some sort of connection, it can also be hard to keep on trying when it feels like nobody notices you. Maybe you get a few mindless comments on your submissions, but there isn't much human connection, really.
I had an experience once where I posted on a website for months and got basically no comments on my work or any acknowledgement of that I was even posting at all really, until finally someone said something, and it was criticism for lack of quality. I was utterly heartbroken. If anyone liked my work, they never spoke up about it, so my only comparison point was someone who basically despised my work.

I guess we're stuck dealing with apathy of the internet, because it seems like the people that DO care are generally afraid of reaching out any more.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have a friend who have been the target of a lot of hatred. Sure she have spoken her mind and then asked for forgiveness and improved a lot. But the internet refuse to forgive her and fester in her mistake, pulls it up over and over again and even go to the length of finding her private information to blackmail her. If somebody is rude online it is not right to harass them, in real life or online. Best thing is to be mature about it and move on.
I dislike to block people, it is as closing a door and leaving people in the snow. But in same cases those people act downright insane and rude so I have to.

The world is truly upside down.
Reply
:icondoom-san:
Doom-san Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Digital Artist
It truly is...

It's nice as an open platform for individuality, but this harsh other side, where the tone of maturity is determined by the least mature in the room, is simply cruel.

I worry that some people really aren't meant for the internet though. I had a friend once.. Somewhat relating to your friend's story, but from the opposite direction, in a way. He had a nervous breakdown and lost his mind. He lashed out at everyone, calling everyone "fakes" and told them all to be "humble" like him, but in an extremely arrogant way. This had happened to him once before maybe a year before I met him and he claims that at the time he lost 75% of his following, but to see it happen in front of me was just heartbreaking. His "fight or flight" reflexes went into super high mode and he had convinced himself that he had always doubted everyone and that he had seen the "true colors" of everyone in our small circle of friends, despite only a few days prior claiming that we were his best friends. And nothing had happened between us between his acting normally and him completely falling apart. After that incident, he never truly recovered, and we had to distance ourselves from him because he was constantly attacking us when we tried to assist our friend in any way.

Some people have this unfortunate tendency for this thing called "burning bridges" so I worry that some of the abuse people take is brought on by themselves, because people like my friend were even more abusive to everyone else around them.
That is an odd situation though.. I don't know what happened with your friend, but having seen it myself, with at least some people, it can be extremely hard to trust some people again after those have been very cruel themselves, and I personally suspect that many people who are very abusive on the internet are the classic bully mentality themselves: People who are victimized in their own lives, being treated horribly by the world, and their only outlet is making other people feel as bad as they do. So it can be incredibly hard for them to forgive someone who may have reminded them of the abuse they felt in the "real world".

I guess what I'm saying is, some people are treated rude unprovoked just for being different, but other people actually do provoke it. Though abuse is never right, it can be hard to forgive someone after an incident, depending on what it was.

We really should all be together and support one another, but for some reason we don't.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People assume that my friend is a bad person because she have been screwed over so many times she trusts nobody. So her natural reaction is to be careful and it is mistaken for being hostile and rude. Just because she tends to leave no information about herself or answer peopleīs questions if she finds them to be to direct and personal. Also people find her to be arrogant due to her personal interest, or the simple fact that she refuse to kiss ass to please people anymore.

I know her, she is not rude, she us just not a faker or a actor. She refuse to be a lover of the popular to please people
Reply
:iconnolifeboygh:
NolifeboyGH Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks to this society, I have much fear of criticism
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes
Reply
:iconjetsetmax:
JetSetMax Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well spoken. I know those feelings well. In different ways.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
In which ways?
Reply
:iconjetsetmax:
JetSetMax Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've had someone attempt to frame me as someone who I was not, from another place, another life. Told me he was a lawyer in the making. All this because someone thought I was stalking them, which wasn't my intent at all.

I often have a hard time expressing myself fully, and that often gets me into arguments with people.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I understand. Many assume that I am lying about being from Japan and demand me to take a photo of myself and my home. Which I find stupid.
Reply
:iconjetsetmax:
JetSetMax Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know someone who has experienced something similar.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People rather claim that it is a lie. Instead of thinking : "Hmm, perhaps he/she doesn't want to plaster their personal life all over the internet."
Reply
:iconjetsetmax:
JetSetMax Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, but I kinda fell for her, that's why I'm sort of guilty. I no longer have any feelings for her cause she couldn't come clean with me.

I hold honesty in the highest regard, and I feel she wasn't being honest.
Reply
:iconhiddan1997:
hiddan1997 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist
Cruelty itself is an endless plague devouring the human from the inside out bending them to the point they're no longer considered a human ,but a beast. Then they do the same onto people in which was done onto them, in result, spreading the very same plague further. That sir is why there are bullies, trolls, and etc. Say what you please but please resist the very sensation to do evil onto others and resist what evil has been throw upon you. This is a note from me to the public.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I disagree, but thank you for reading. i wrote this more as my view upon things, peopleīs own opinions are interesting but does not change mine.
Reply
:iconthelazyauthor:
TheLazyAuthor Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
I'm half and half with this.

I'm in agreement that people need to be nicer to one another in general; both online AND offline. That should go without saying, though.

I agree that originality is something that should be rewarded rather than punished. However, some things ARE overused, even if it's made into something more unique. You may have made a different looking elf with different glowing marking, but it's still an elf with glowing markings. Which could be a common thing even outside of games such as WoW. I wouldn't really know as I don't really follow content containing elves closely, but for those that do, I can see why they would make that assumption. Of course, people could be nicer about it and give proper criticism and opinions than insults.

On that note, I disagree not criticism part. Criticism is integral for a growing artist. If you put your stuff up on a site for EVERYBODY to access, you're pretty much asking for it. If you don't want it criticized, then don't put it on a site like dA. Put it in a small storage archive and show the few people who won't criticize it and will just accept it as it was intended. Of course, you could ask people not to do criticize or disable comments when you upload it, but you defeat the purpose of posting it on such a site: To hear what people say about it to get the drive to draw more and get better.

Also adding some things based on what I've seen in the comment to this journal.

I agree more than less with Saeter on the fact words can only harm you if you allow them. And this is a "your miles will vary" thing. People have different things that they can tolerate forever and things that'll set them off instantly. How you react to it, however, will make the difference. If you let them get to you, if you let yourself feed those trolls, you'll only dig yourself deeper and invite more of those harsh flames. It's better to try and not give it a second thought.

Also, not everybody draws fanart solely for to earn fame. I tend to draw fanart more frequently than original pieces. I do this because I really like the character or thing so much that I want to show it and share it with people. And for me, the best way to do that is draw fanart of said character or thing. The more I draw of it, the more I'm showing I like it. Whether or not I get a huge amount of traffic because of it is secondary.

Finally, I would like to say I'm moved by this journal... but honestly, I'm not. Mainly because I've seen these sort of posts before. It's kind of like the issue with that Lollipop Chainsaw game. It's obviously a game that overly sexualize women and emphasize certain not-often-endearing female stereotypes... but it's not like this hasn't been done before. And this is only increased by the fact it's when co-developed by Suda51, a guy who often makes or participates in making controversial games on a regular basis. So it's not anything new or worth really getting riled up about. Same thing here.

Of course, this is basing of years of being used to what the internet is capable of. So this is once again, a "miles will vary". If you been use to the internet for a very long time, this won't seem new and you'll easily be able to take it more often than not. If you're relatively new to the internet, I recommend getting water wings before jumping in and maybe a guidance counselor to show you the ways.

I do apologize if this post isn't put together well. In a bit of a rush but felt I should give my say on this matter. Hope things fair well for you do with this journal of yours.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I disagree, but thank you for reading. i wrote this more as my view upon things, peopleīs own opinions are interesting but does not change mine.
Reply
:iconrectangularenix:
rectangularenix Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
I'm curious, why wouldn't other peoples opinions change yours?
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That is why it is called "My personal opinion." , otherwise we are just a brainless crowd that think the same and does the same. In some matters I can alter my opinion upon something. But never fully change it just because you disagree.
Reply
:iconrectangularenix:
rectangularenix Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
I was just curious since you stated that people's opinions don't change your own instead of telling him why you disagree.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It just never will
Reply
:icontoo-lazy:
too-lazy Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
People are idiots, they have always been and forever will be because they lack the ability to see, to think for themselves and to create.
Everything outside their small world is mocked. They fear what they don't understand; which is everything that someone else hasn't told them
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It is so much easier to be cruel when you canīt see your victims.
Reply
:iconfalloutghoul:
falloutghoul Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
Sad, but freaking true.
I lose faith in humanity everyday because of the cold-hearted things people say to each other on the internet.
And 4chan is a prime example.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
4chan is a site I avoid due to it stealing my friends artwork at pixiv and mocking them
Reply
:iconfalloutghoul:
falloutghoul Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Yeah, they can be down-right cruel.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
They think cheering for suicide is funny, it is not
Reply
:iconfalloutghoul:
falloutghoul Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Definitely not.
Some sick b-tards.
Reply
:iconcyborg-ninja2007:
Cyborg-ninja2007 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
True words. Originality is noticably dying, sadly enough.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It is so much easier to draw fanart, easy way to gain fame is to follow the trend
Reply
:iconswade9wade:
Swade9wade Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
This is probably one of the greatest journals I read on here, it's just, everything about it is just true.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you. This website and most of the internet needs itīs humanity back. The world is cold as it is.
Reply
:iconleonkatlovre:
LeonKatlovre Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
do you mind if I post a link to this? really want it to reach out more
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Feel free to, it would honor me.
Reply
:icongoddessbeat:
Goddessbeat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Gah, trying not to cry but this is really true and hits home to issues I and I know my friends have faced, like you and soulia as well as many others
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Pride love. Take pride in the fact that you where created into this world perfect as you are. And that you own a heart and a soul enough to help others in need. Also take pride that you try to swim trough this cesspool of raw evil.
Reply
:icongoddessbeat:
Goddessbeat Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*nodnod* you're a good person we need more of you
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am perhaps good , in technical terms. As all humans I harvest a primal type of cruelty that can be triggered. SO I believe
Reply
:icongoddessbeat:
Goddessbeat Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I believe I am inherintly not caring unless someone cares about me as well
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
We all care about you, especially soulia. So
Reply
:icongoddessbeat:
Goddessbeat Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
awww well thank you I care about you all too
Reply
:iconsaeter:
Saeter Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
The most admirable people are those who are capable of rising above the ridicule and hypocrisy. Some are even capable of catalyzing change.
Remember their words can only harm you if you let them.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Letting them has nothing to do with it, I have seen the strongest fall to worlds of the weak. Sometimes words are arrows and no armor can bounce them off.
Reply
:iconsaeter:
Saeter Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
I tend to use the 8 Mile tactic in that I am brutally honest about myself and show that I know my fault and nothing anyone says about me will change what I already feel about myself. By doing so I take away their ammunition against me and leave them with hollow words that are ineffective to what I already feel.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
But you did almost admit to lack emotional understanding, sadly we have emotions as must do and get hurt.
Reply
:iconirosefeather:
iRosefeather Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
:iconclapplz: Those are well spoken words, my friend.

I too hate the fact that originality seems to be unknown to many people these days. In their eyes everything can be a copy of something else and originality is not original anymore, for this matter. In addition, people go and critique or insult ones art, even if they didn't ask for it, no, they uploaded the artwork they critique for fun. Some people seem to forget that deviantART has a critique feature, which indeed asks for critique. When this is not enabled, why do they still seek the criticism in people's art? I have seen many people who stopped drawing, a thing they used to love, because of trolls and people insulting them for their skills. Many of them leave, because they get insulted for grammar or lacking profession in their art skills. It's just... sad what the internet has become, same goes for the outside world in this generation D;
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Critique is like folliwng : "When we all are forced to climb the mountain of creation, we will eventually fall all the way down. "
Reply
:iconirosefeather:
iRosefeather Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
This is true, I agree -nods-
Reply
:iconicyshadowlord:
Icyshadowlord Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Pretty much.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ok.
Reply
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