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January 4, 2013
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What have we become?

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 4, 2013, 5:58 AM
This world, the internet, this website, Makes me feel a bit sick.
The internet opened my eyes to a world outside my house, outside hardship, bully and abuse. Thus it where good, but it is heading down a faceless path where bully is seen as good clean fun or trolling. Where people get rewarded for copying while I got humiliated and laughed at in art school, my technique or the fact that I drew it with a blue ink pen impressed nobody.  I left art school and went to another school, stopped drawing for a while.
Created things I felt where original. As many of my friends, and close friend does. I write short stories or books.
(Queen-Soulia as her a talented writer that is ashamed to show her work, due to the cruelty of the internet.)

People punish original ideas and creativity creations with either mocking or blame of idea theft.
You dare to create a elf with glowing markings, but oh no,you must have copied that from some current game. Because Blizzard made fantasy according to some.

You add it online, you must be read to become attacked or given critique. Do we not have a choice to say: "No thank you" ?

We reward wrongful behavior, children, teens and adults wish to die and reach out in hope a voice in the light can pull them up. Only to be met with a cold cynical internet that rolls around in joy when people suffer. Words such as "Do it." , "Attention whore" will be thrown.

You cannot go anywhere without being reminded of past mistakes, the internet never forgets. Neither does it exist the human ability to forget and move on. Only a Obsessive behavior to crush that unknown face you now speak to. Crush her or him, destroy that person, make it wish it never where born.
This is not right, we do not wake up everyday so we can cause suffering to others. How shall we as humans overcome cruelty if we allow it to happen or indulgent our self in it?

Remember how they always said wounds heal, but wounds by words will never  It is just the internet they say, turn off the screen and move on. Words that drill into your mind as you buy milk. "Whore", "Useless" , "Kill yourself" ,"You are a loser, nobody cares if you would vanish."
Such generation is being created, with cynical, emotionless, faceless-bullies who thrive in others misery.

Religion, politics, culture or simple the fact that you perhaps do not enjoy that newest movie gives nobody the rights to use your soul as some can you can step on and laugh that it becomes crushed.

Growing a spine, making a stand? Being strong enough to stand against a faceless mob that will destroy you unless you flee , stand strong, or simply surrender.

The boy or girl which English is their second or third language. Buy a dictionary they say, mock them you tend to do. It is not right!

A girls sketch of a red haired character, she thinks about it everyday and love this character. As if it where real. Mocked by those that call it pathetic.
The not skinny girl or boy, mocked because they canīt fit into a size 0 jeans.  That is how messed up the world is, all girls are Photoshopped, not everybody can become thin as you demand. Leave them be, admire them for how they look, not how they could look.

Or how about the person who simply does not like the same things as you. Do not mock or act as a fool against thee

Next time you speak to a person, even for a short comment, imagine that you are talking to a human. Phrase it as if you spoke to them, even if it is not correct grammatically . When I write hug or smile, I imagine doing so for real. Insane perhaps. But it keeps me human, it reminds me to be human.

A good human, on my own. Not with faith, not with force. Just be good because it is needed in the world

And smile. Even when it hurts. Maybe somebody can read your eyes. And hug.

As a person once said "We are only humans" , but I say "Thus can we act better, if we try."

Thank you.

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:icondoom-san:
Doom-san Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
This is a beautiful journal. I am glad for knowing that I'm not the only one who sees everyone as people, and treats interactions with everyone as such.

It's true, people do say "Just ignore it", but.. Yeah. It can hurt. Staying true to ourselves is all we can do, and on some level it is kind of right to say "just ignore it", since it seems the only way to really repel "trolling" is to not feed their fire. But it still hurts.

Many of us are here because we're reaching out, and on some level seek that little push of encouragement to let us be who we want to be because we have none in our lives to give that encouragement in person. Even if we keep pushing to share ourselves in spite of the criticism, there's still a difference in emotion and confidence between trying and being met with encouragement, and trying and being told we are terrible. It can also be harder and harder to ignore when it feels like the only real voice you hear is attacks too. Even if ignored, many of them become little digs at our psyche. Wounds that sit and fester, making us a little more negative each time, and in time even if we still keep doing what we do, we start lose the desire to want to share it.

I don't know how it is for others, but from a perspective of reaching out to make some sort of connection, it can also be hard to keep on trying when it feels like nobody notices you. Maybe you get a few mindless comments on your submissions, but there isn't much human connection, really.
I had an experience once where I posted on a website for months and got basically no comments on my work or any acknowledgement of that I was even posting at all really, until finally someone said something, and it was criticism for lack of quality. I was utterly heartbroken. If anyone liked my work, they never spoke up about it, so my only comparison point was someone who basically despised my work.

I guess we're stuck dealing with apathy of the internet, because it seems like the people that DO care are generally afraid of reaching out any more.
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:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have a friend who have been the target of a lot of hatred. Sure she have spoken her mind and then asked for forgiveness and improved a lot. But the internet refuse to forgive her and fester in her mistake, pulls it up over and over again and even go to the length of finding her private information to blackmail her. If somebody is rude online it is not right to harass them, in real life or online. Best thing is to be mature about it and move on.
I dislike to block people, it is as closing a door and leaving people in the snow. But in same cases those people act downright insane and rude so I have to.

The world is truly upside down.
Reply
:icondoom-san:
Doom-san Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Digital Artist
It truly is...

It's nice as an open platform for individuality, but this harsh other side, where the tone of maturity is determined by the least mature in the room, is simply cruel.

I worry that some people really aren't meant for the internet though. I had a friend once.. Somewhat relating to your friend's story, but from the opposite direction, in a way. He had a nervous breakdown and lost his mind. He lashed out at everyone, calling everyone "fakes" and told them all to be "humble" like him, but in an extremely arrogant way. This had happened to him once before maybe a year before I met him and he claims that at the time he lost 75% of his following, but to see it happen in front of me was just heartbreaking. His "fight or flight" reflexes went into super high mode and he had convinced himself that he had always doubted everyone and that he had seen the "true colors" of everyone in our small circle of friends, despite only a few days prior claiming that we were his best friends. And nothing had happened between us between his acting normally and him completely falling apart. After that incident, he never truly recovered, and we had to distance ourselves from him because he was constantly attacking us when we tried to assist our friend in any way.

Some people have this unfortunate tendency for this thing called "burning bridges" so I worry that some of the abuse people take is brought on by themselves, because people like my friend were even more abusive to everyone else around them.
That is an odd situation though.. I don't know what happened with your friend, but having seen it myself, with at least some people, it can be extremely hard to trust some people again after those have been very cruel themselves, and I personally suspect that many people who are very abusive on the internet are the classic bully mentality themselves: People who are victimized in their own lives, being treated horribly by the world, and their only outlet is making other people feel as bad as they do. So it can be incredibly hard for them to forgive someone who may have reminded them of the abuse they felt in the "real world".

I guess what I'm saying is, some people are treated rude unprovoked just for being different, but other people actually do provoke it. Though abuse is never right, it can be hard to forgive someone after an incident, depending on what it was.

We really should all be together and support one another, but for some reason we don't.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People assume that my friend is a bad person because she have been screwed over so many times she trusts nobody. So her natural reaction is to be careful and it is mistaken for being hostile and rude. Just because she tends to leave no information about herself or answer peopleīs questions if she finds them to be to direct and personal. Also people find her to be arrogant due to her personal interest, or the simple fact that she refuse to kiss ass to please people anymore.

I know her, she is not rude, she us just not a faker or a actor. She refuse to be a lover of the popular to please people
Reply
:iconnolifeboygh:
NolifeboyGH Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks to this society, I have much fear of criticism
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes
Reply
:iconjetsetmax:
JetSetMax Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well spoken. I know those feelings well. In different ways.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
In which ways?
Reply
:iconjetsetmax:
JetSetMax Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've had someone attempt to frame me as someone who I was not, from another place, another life. Told me he was a lawyer in the making. All this because someone thought I was stalking them, which wasn't my intent at all.

I often have a hard time expressing myself fully, and that often gets me into arguments with people.
Reply
:iconj-foa:
J-foa Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I understand. Many assume that I am lying about being from Japan and demand me to take a photo of myself and my home. Which I find stupid.
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